Getting married is an incredibly big deal for some couples as it’s a way for them to commit to one another forever. This is their way of showing that their love is long-lasting and unwavering, and many people hope to cement this romantic feeling for the rest of their lives.
However, weddings aren’t always as beautiful as some people may hope. In fact, more people nowadays are opting not to even get married. A study from Gallup showcased that fewer Americans find it important for couples who want to spend the rest of their lives together to get married. About 38% believe it’s important for them to marry, while 21% say it’s not important at all. The remaining people had mixed feelings.
Still, weddings are still happening, and people are still getting married – and it’s certainly not a cheap milestone. This is something that one father was struggling with, as he had promised his daughter that he would pay for her wedding. However, he recently began having some issues with her and the people who were going to become her in-laws.
His daughter said that because of his “lifestyle,” his current partner and child aren’t allowed at the ceremony. On top of that, he is not allowed to talk about his current love life because it goes against the beliefs of his daughter’s in-laws.
Because of this, the dad has decided that his daughter’s in-laws can instead pay for the wedding. Unfortunately, this has just caused more issues between him and his daughter, leaving him to turn to Redditors in March 2022 for their advice.
Starting off his Reddit post, the original poster (OP) said, “My daughter is going to get married this June. Since she was a little girl I promised to pay for her wedding but something happened two days ago that made me change my mind.”
He explained how he and his ex-wife had their daughter when they were very young and had actually gotten married when they were only 18 years old. After six years of marriage, OP came out to his wife, and they have a very understanding and amicable divorce with split custody.
A 2022 report found that about 40% to 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce, meaning people nowadays are more likely to stay married. And people who get married between the ages of 28 and 32 are the best candidates for a successful marriage.
OP continued, “My daughter was always daddy’s girl and always got along well with my partner of 14 years.” However, there was an issue. “Since her future in-laws are so conservative and religious, my husband is not allowed to attend the wedding,” OP revealed. “I said: OK it’s your day.”
The other rules are that his 2-year-old son he shares with his husband can’t attend even though it’s not a child-free wedding. On top of that, OP is not allowed to talk about his “lifestyle” so as to not make his daughter’s in-laws “uncomfortable.”
OP continued, “Therefore, I told her that if her in-laws are so important, they should pay for the wedding.” His daughter was furious and went so far as to say that she would ask her father-in-law to walk her down the aisle instead.
OP continued, “I said: ‘Fine if my family isn’t welcomed and I’m excluded, I’m not paying for the wedding. She was furious and said I was being selfish, picking favorites and not thinking about her at all. She complains that they can’t afford the wedding since they are both too young and reminded me it was a promise I made. Everything including her mom is calling me selfish.”
Many Reddit users left positive comments for OP, clearly feeling sorry for the situation he was in regarding his daughter’s decision to exclude his family from her upcoming nuptials. One user commented, “She’s more concerned about her in-laws’ comfort over her love and respect for you and your family.”
Another user said, “You are standing up for yourself and your family. I’m sorry your daughter is showing she has no spine to defend herself and her family. She is selfish enough to take your money.” A third user commented, “She is more concerned with presenting ‘the right picture’ to her soon-to-be extended family than she is with maintaining healthy relationships with her actual family.”
Since then, OP has updated his post and explained that although his daughter apologized, she didn’t change any of her rules. Therefore, he is not paying for her wedding. OP also apologized to his own husband and son for even thinking about excluding them. He is also now planning on taking them on a fun family trip rather than attending his daughter’s wedding, especially since his daughter chose to have her future father-in-law walk her down the aisle.
What are your thoughts on this situation? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your family members and friends to find out what they think, too.
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